Beautiful Mess and I’m still here

I mean, it’s that time of the year again and this time, just like every time, I am just there. With a little energy this time because a whole lot has changed, and to be honest, I am just there!

I want to say a lot, but damn, I can’t type the right words. In all, I am hopeful. I haven’t written in months, and that’s because life happened. Every time I feel the urge to write, I lose interest immediately I hold a pen or open my notebook on my phone. Not because I don’t know what to write, but it’s just a crazy rollercoaster of emotions.

I swear, a lot happened that seemed like I wasn’t going to pull through. But before I go on, there’s a good news with a bad news landing. I got a steady job that seems like it’s going to take my life. I hope Mustapha won’t be tired of my rant by now, because I rant to him almost all the time.

January

January was the beginning of my shit-show life, and I should have known it was going to be crazy days ahead with how it started. Imagine never having to deal with acne, to having a chronic acne that is blood-sucking. I cried and regretted all the bad decisions that could have contributed to the birth of the acne.

It went on for months, and people started noticing, it got me worried. Imagine a straight-A student dropping down to getting an E, that’s how it felt. People who know me started to ask me what caused the breakout, and I couldn’t even give a legit answer.

Every time someone pointed it out, I nearly cried and on some wicked days, I did cry. Shit was frustrating, devastating, and all the “-ating” words you could ever think of. I just hoped days would go by faster and the shit would heal ASAP.

A lot of other things happened, but the highlight of the month was me having a motherfuvking blood-sucking acne. It’s all I could remember.

February

A beauty yet draining month. It sucked me emotionally, unlike the bloodsucker January. I made this decision of cutting off with someone. Though it wasn’t successful, thank God I tried because I for no dey where I dey today.

This shit brought back memories of someone cutting me off and I felt like I was in no position to cut someone off because how did I feel when I was in their shoes months back? But what did I do differently? I highlighted the problem and found a solution around it instead of cutting the person off totally.

Not to insult anyone’s opinion, but personally, I am at the age where cutting people off seems like a big word to me. Instead, I distance myself and I know I wouldn’t always feel awkward when I see you outside just because we don’t talk anymore.

What did I do? I called myself back, healed and if not totally, but to a large extent and came back like nothing happened, even when the person in question did not realize they did a shitty thing to me.

One self-awareness I noticed about myself is that whenever I am wrong, I acknowledge it. And if it’s the other person, I tend to think if I’ve contributed to the wrong in any way, then apologize in a way that I can and we move forward.

Let me even tell you one funny story of my unfortunate friend’s experience.

One time, this person that I thought we were friends with unfriended my ass. How did I get to know? I was just scrolling and saw his comment. I wanted to reply to him, and I clicked on his account mistakenly, by the way. For context, we don’t even talk that often, so I didn’t even know how long ago he did it until I realized.

I texted him immediately and asked if he knew he was no longer on my list. I even mentioned that maybe it was the app glitching.

My bro replied and said he knows. In fact, he unfriended me himself, said he removed people he wasn’t talking to anymore.

Mind you, we didn’t have any issues before this. We talked when there was something to talk about.

I just said, “Oh, alright,” and moved on.

But deep down, I con dey rethink if I did something wrong.

February also ended whilst battling my blood-sucking acne.

March

I marched into this month thinking everything would be better, but I was deceiving myself. Things got worse again. I missed people. a lot of people I used to talk to and it dawned on me: I am not the problem, but I have also contributed a big part of it to the problem. And I don’t know how to change that.

I sat down one of the days in this month, cried, wrote in a book the names of people that I got close to who stopped talking to me and I bursted out crying again. It was a long list that nearly convinced me that I am the problem.

It was later, when I felt better, I consoled myself that these people also contributed equally to this problem. But it seemed like I am the only one suffering it.

Hate to say it, but I overthink things a whole lot and most of the time, I hate to see that I am right.

Fast forward, my skin got better, but it was in a flash before it got back to what it has decided to be. But I enjoyed that small moment, it felt too long to feel my smooth skin again.

I got close to someone, and we stopped talking. Again!

At that point, I decided that whatever relationship it is, isn’t for me. Isolated myself a whole lot this time, but surprisingly, I didn’t snap out of the world by deleting all my social media accounts. That’s huge!

(Remember I deleted my Snapchat account when it felt overwhelming for 2 months between December and February when I was having a major crash out.) We are getting there.

April

This started off good but ended mid. I saw Triumph. I was happy.

I didn’t have many memories from here, but I knew I looked and felt better here. And did I tell you? My skin got better, too! Goshhhhh… I was so happy! It didn’t totally clear off, but it was something.

It’s like the way fuel increased to 1k+ and when it came down to about 800, people were jubilating. It’s not totally a success, but it’s also something.

Also, I was starting to touch real-life grass and getting familiar with reality.

“Rumaysah, many people will leave you and you will lose network/connection not because you aren’t good enough or a totally shitty person but because your thoughts and thinking with these people don’t align anymore.”

No lose, no gain and whatever thing anyone attaches to it is their business. Move on!

Well… we are doing great.

This month I joined Wekigaii the organization that got me my present job. I will forever thank Faramade for ever starting this up and also finding me worthy to join the team.

PS: I am a volunteer at Wekigaii, but look where it got me?

I can’t count the number of volunteer works I have done in my life. It wasn’t even up to a month I joined that I got the job. I was happy, tbh. Best month so far, I guess.

I almost forgot to mention that I forged a new close ally too but we are still cool. I got a gift from someone who found me worthy, too.

May

May bad things never come our way, amen! May we experience good things, Ameen. “Ki Edumare gba wa.”

First thing first! I have to acknowledge that my skin got a lot better, damn! I was engaged till the end.

The week started with me and my classmates realizing that a class project would come up in 2 weeks which, as a matter of fact, happened. The advertising pitch took a toll on my head again. I wan craze. In fact, I craze, na die I no just die.

I was the team lead, which I didn’t plan for at all. It’s a practical course called PR & Advertising, and we were meant to be in groups as teams, find a client, and pitch a campaign centered on the client’s brand to drive growth and awareness.

In this case, we were to pitch a campaign for Cowrywise. Last year’s advert pitch was for Airtel and my team won, courtesy of Ibrahim, team lead then.

I don’t know if I say this enough, but I love Ibrahim (Pablo) so much. I hope his babe doesn’t sue me for this ’cause she’s studying law, lol. But Ibrahim has been a major support and contributor to my schoolwork since 100 level, and I am grateful for knowing him and experiencing this relationship with him.

Well, for the record, Ibrahim’s team won again this time, what changed is that I wasn’t a member of his team. I had one of my own. We were now opponents who risked divulging information to each other. But I don’t care, do I?

I went to meet him towards the end to help me out when it got to the neck. He helped me genuinely without gatekeeping. That’s the kind of person he is. I don’t think I can do that, left to me but he is who he is.

I met with a few experts, too. I used Mr Taoheed and Mr Abdulbasit’s expert eyes to proofread my work and it contributed to the success of the whole thing.

In the end, I came 3rd, and I got the prize money attached and the trip! To also think that I had the potential of coming second and it was one little thing that dropped my mark…

That morning, I saw people presenting and I lost hope. I never believed. never! Because everyone came with their best, and I lost hope that I would come last.

The following week, I participated in a debate contest and came 4th. Three days after, I interviewed a big man at a book session event and the month ended on that note.

It was a fulfilling month.

May!!

May the good things of life come your way.

June

This newsletter will be scheduled to be posted on the 14th. You know what that means, right?

Life happened and it feels like everything is happening at once, but I am trying to get used to it. I started my job already and it’s a rollercoaster of emotions.

I want to start learning new skills and at the same time, renew my skill certificates. My certificates are now expiring, and it won’t be nice if everything expires at the same time.

I saw Folu, too. This alone makes me very happy.

What can I say? I am hopeful. I am hopeful because I can’t promise to be a better person, but what I can do is hope that I get better at what I do and in every aspect of my life.

It’s a crazy year coming, and the previous years have been crazier. But what matters is stepping up from crazy days, finding comfort in better days, and being hopeful on blank days.

I am glad I have come this far, and I want to say it again  “I don’t like people that much.” But having good people around is a factor that contributes to long life and prosperity.

Emphasis on “good.”

I can assure you that I am a good person to anyone. I am trying my best. But where I am greedy is that I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with an also aspiring good person. Because two wrongs can’t make a right or what do you think?

We would be having problems when both of us can equally be the problem… or neither of us is.

💡 Take Home Thoughts

Believe in Yourself BIY

If you haven’t done that before now, you seriously need to start. Believing in yourself is real stuff. What made it even more powerful for me was realizing that I had people who believed in me.

Even when I was doubting myself, Feranmi would always say, “Rumaysah, you’re so creative, and you might likely win this competition.” Mind you, we weren’t even in the same team and she was rooting for my win over hers.

Still, I didn’t believe I had a chance. But now? I think I’m starting to.

A few days ago, I did a video animation of a product coming out of an automated machine. And bro, it felt unreal that I could pull that off. 

Please, believe in yourself. And that doubt sitting in your head? Abort it.

Self-Awareness

I’m not saying I’m perfect or anything, but people really need to start being more accountable.

It begins with self-awareness — the kind that starts within. The kind that makes you sit with yourself, call yourself out, and reflect.

Know your wrongs. Know your rights. Accept them both.

You’re not always right, and when something keeps happening over and over again, please check yourself. Ask people around you too. You don’t always see everything.

Be Willing to Volunteer

One thing I’ve learned: you can never go wrong with volunteering and putting in the work.

I don’t want to sound old, but I really wish I had known this earlier. Still, I’m glad I made use of the little time I had.

I started volunteering and doing online stuff around 2019/2020. The idea was just to stay visible and connected and it felt so beautiful seeing people your age doing things and doing it together.

I met a lot of amazing people then, and honestly, I would do anything to feel that kind of energy again.

Start volunteering. But first, have a skill or something valuable to offer. Then build on that. Grow.

Gather experience. Update your CV. These things matter.

Fun fact? I got a job through volunteering. That’s how networking works, someone sees your work, vouches for you, and connects you with someone else, even if they never patronized you themselves.

And let’s not forget how these companies now want unrealistic years of experience. You can only get that when you start early. So start today.

Join Wekigaii

It is a purpose driven organization committed to helping young people discover themselves, build relevant skills, and access meaningful opportunities.

Through mentorship, volunteering, and practical career-building experiences, we empower youth to grow both personally and professionally guiding them toward purpose, impact, and long-term success.

You can check us out through this link below and also join:👇

What’s even more exciting? Wekigaii is filled with young, talented people like you.

Tell us what you do and what you can offer. You’re welcome to join whenever you’re ready.

In conclusion, Father’s Day is on Sunday and I will be posting a video of me interviewing my father speaking on his struggles bringing us up and his responsibilities as a father. Do well to watch it on my YouTube video.

While at this, I want to stay consistent with posting but how do I do that when I help people stay consistent with theirs, too?

It’s a good way to reintroduce myself to you that I am Rumaysah, a video editor, social media manager, voice-over artist, graphics designer, writer, poet… everything you can think of with a sweet personality to have around. I am funny and I make people laugh.

When you have any work in mind, do well to bring it to me. Eseun.

I think this is the longest newsletter I have ever sent. And thanks for reading, if you managed to finish it, please send me a reply or a DM acknowledging that you read to the end.

I find joy knowing that anyone pays attention to anything coming from me. It gives me absolute joy.

Cheers to everyone! My father, My younger ones, Feranmi, Folu, Mustapha, Kareemah, Korede, Shina, Pablo, Faramade, Egbon Logbon, Bushrah (Koko), Ife, Amidah, Aisha Venus, Ridwan, Umar, Idrak, League, Summayyah and Awau.

This is the first birthday in a long while that I don’t feel sad or withdraw myself from the world. Though, I feel scared and anxious when I read a birthday text from anyone. So it's a good way to say “Happy Birthday, Rumi! You have come really far and I hope you get better at what you do”

Till next week, guys. See you!